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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month
STRESS RELIEF
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COMMUNICATION TOOLS -- THE FEEDBACK WHEEL
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October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Types of Abuse
There are many types of abuse and they are all difficult to experience. Explore this section to learn the different ways abuse can occur so you can better identifying them. Remember, each type of abuse is serious and no one deserves to experience any form of it.

1.    Emotional Abuse/Verbal Abuse Non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring or “checking in,” excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation or isolation.  
2.     Stalking    Being repeatedly watched, followed or harassed. 
3.     Financial Abuse Using money or access to accounts to exert power and control over a partner.  
4.     Physical Abuse Any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon.
5.    Sexual Abuse  Any action that impacts a person's ability to control their sexual activity or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including restricting access to birth control or condoms. Ignoring someone's refusal to engage in sexual activities by repeatedly using emotional, verbal or physical pressure. 
6.     Digital Abuse The use of technology such as texting and social networking to bully, harass, stalk or intimidate a partner. Often this behavior is a form of verbal or emotional abuse perpetrated through technology.
7.     Dating Abuse Dating abuse is a pattern of destructive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner. While we define dating violence as a pattern, that doesn't mean the first instance of abuse is not dating violence. It just recognizes that dating violence usually involves a series of abusive behaviors over a course of time.  
8.     Drugs and Alcohol   can make an unhealthy situation worse, especially if you are an abusive relationship,. Your abusive partner may get you drunk or high to take advantage of you. When you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, you’re more vulnerable to:
·         Being sexually assaulted.
·         Having unsafe or unprotected sex.
·         Getting a sexually transmitted disease.
·         Getting pregnant.
·         Addiction.

 
Warning Signs of Abuse
Because relationships exist on a spectrum, it can be hard to tell when a behavior crosses the line from healthy to unhealthy or even abusive. Use these warning signs of abuse to see if your relationship is going in the wrong direction:


  • Checking your cell phone or email without permission
  • Constantly putting you down
  • Extreme jealousy or insecurity
  • Explosive temper
  • Isolating you from family or friends
  • Making false accusations
  • Mood swings
  • Physically hurting you in any way
  • Possessiveness
  • Telling you what to do
  • Repeatedly pressuring you to have sex


A safety plan is a  plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. Safety planning involves how to cope with emotions, tell friends and family about the abuse, take legal action and more. A good safety plan will have all of the information you need and be tailored to your unique situation, and will help walk you through different scenarios. Although some of the things that you outline in your safety plan may seem obvious, it’s important to remember that in moments of crisis your brain doesn’t function the same way as when you are calm. When adrenaline is pumping through your veins it can be hard to think clearly or make logical decisions about your safety. Having a safety plan laid out in advance can help you to protect yourself in those stressful moments. (adapted from the National Domestic Violence Hotline www.thehotline.org).



Resources
National Domestic Violence Hotline    1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)






















































STRESS RELIEF

RELIEF FROM STRESS
adapted from
 
Being able to manage and relieve stress in the moment is the key to staying balanced, focused, and in control, no matter what challenges you face. If you don’t know how to stay centered and in control of yourself, you will become overwhelmed in conflict situations and unable to respond in healthy ways.
 
There  three common ways people respond when they’re overwhelmed by stress.  Which one are you?     
1.  Foot on the gas. An angry or agitated stress response. You’re heated, keyed up, overly emotional, and    unable to sit still.
2.  Foot on the brake. A withdrawn or depressed stress response. You shut down, space out, and show very little energy or emotion.
3.  Foot on both gas and brake. A tense and frozen stress response. You “freeze” under pressure and can’t do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you’re extremely agitated.
 
Stress interferes with the ability to resolve conflict by limiting your ability to:
·         Accurately read another person's nonverbal communication.
·         Hear what someone is really saying.
·         Be aware of your own feelings.
·         Be in touch with your deep-rooted needs.
·         Communicate your needs clearly.  
 
Is stress a problem or you?
You may be so used to being stressed that you're not even aware you are stressed. Stress may be a problem in your life if you identify with the following:
·         You often feel tense or tight somewhere in your body.
·         You're not aware of movement in your chest or stomach when you breathe.
·         Conflict absorbs your time and attention.
 
Learn how to beat stress in the moment
The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress (if you don't have someone close at hand to talk to) is through the senses: sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell. But each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find things that are soothing to you.
·        Sight- If you’re a visual person, try to manage and relieve stress by surrounding yourself with soothing and uplifting images: a favorite photo, a peek out the window, a favorite color, close your eyes and imagine a favorite scene.
·        Sound- Are you sensitive to sounds? A music lover? Try to manage stress and relieve stress by humming a favorite tune, listen to a soundtrack from nature like crashing waves, the wind rustling in the trees, the birds chirping, wind chimes.
·        Smell - If you tend to zone out or freeze when stressed, surround yourself with smells that are energizing and invigorating. If you tend to become overly agitated under stress, look for scents that are comforting and calming. Light a scented candle, smell a beautiful flower.
·        Touch - Experiment with your sense of touch, playing with different tactile sensations. Focus on things you can feel that are relaxing and renewing like:  Wrap yourself in a warm blanket, pet a dog or cat, hold a comforting object, soak in a hot bath, give yourself a hand or neck massage.
·        Taste - Slowly savoring a favorite treat can be very relaxing, but mindless stress eating will only add to your stress and your waistline. The key is to indulge your sense of taste mindfully and in moderation. Eat slowly, focusing on the feel of the food in your mouth and the taste on your tongue: You might chew a piece of sugarless gum, indulge in a small piece of dark chocolate, sip a cup of coffee, eat a perfectly ripe piece of fruit.
 

enhance relationships with friends, collegues and loved ones

 
Have you ever lost control of your emotions and acted in a way that you came to regret?  Do you  promise yourself  that you will not lose control the next time you are stressed out? Anger management classes teach  skills to help you become aware of your emotions and to help you navigate frustrating, stressful situations.
Sherman Oaks Anger Management classes will teach you to understand your inner process, the emotional triggers that lead to angry reactions, and teach you coping skills to effectively deal with stressful circumstances. You will gain emotional intelligence, improve stress management skills, build healthy communication styles, enhance relationships with friends, colleagues and loved ones and improve your self esteem.